heathermassoth

You can't doing everything everyday!

Remember when…

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We all have experience times of change and growth.  It is really easy to recognize in others.  I/e. “Oh, I remember when I liked horses”, and you had all the gear, cozy pants and a new bridle.  Or “I remember when I hung out at Starbucks, sitting there on the comfy couch feeling all nostalgic, retro, and romantic”, and “I remember when my kids were that age”, and you think back to how you are not that person anymore.

It may be easier to recognize our stages of growth in others, because we have a difficult time looking at ourselves.  It’s natural to not turn the periscope on ourselves.  Ooo!  Ouch!  But in others, we say, “I remember when that was important to me”.

  • going to church
  • going to work on time
  • speeding through traffic
    • cuz you’re  young
    • cuz you’re late
  • new baby stage
  • THe dating era

And when we see others there, in that place, we get to quietly reminisce, hate, judge, razberry their moment, or revel in the joy of the memory.

Everyone experiences different stages of growth and yet we tend to insist, we haven’t changed at all.  Are we the same person we were at 18, 28 or 32?   Some admit to changing and are glad for it!

“Thank God I’m not that hectic, rebellious immature young adult anymore!”  “Thank God there is not a baby in the house waking me at all hours of the night anymore” and “Thank God I found this person, so I am not sitting on this park bench alone in my maturing, grateful- to- be- alive years.”  Finally, for the old folks and retirees, “Thank God, the children are all ok and don’t need me anymore”.  “I remember when we were busy and couldn’t  share the holidays with my folks!”  So the old folks respect admire and allow us 30 and 40 something room to grow and get those kids off to school.  But just remember, they remember those times too.  Not only might they have advice or words of wisdom, we can all share in the silent surrender of being glad we are not in that person’s place in life anymore, or yet, but still be compassionate towards those that are in “that place”, knowing you survived it, and just take a moment to pity their plight.

Learning compassion is just taking a step back AND PUTTING your self in other people’s shoes.  You don’t have to do it all the time or be constantly sympathetic to other’s bad behavior, aggression, and evilness… But do consider their place in life on their journey and considering they may be struggling with some change or transition.  Silently observe, to feel kindness and compassion in your own heart, even if you can’t relay it or lend a helping hand.

But for those that are open to suggestion, offer up those words of encouragement… that “it will be over soon, and your gonna miss this.  You’ll look back and remember these were the days. ” And somehow be glad you’ re no longer there and in it.  Observing others when you miss those times; kids in the park, nursery at church, attending a wedding; brings back those moments from your life into your current memories and feelings without having to truly experience it again.

 

For all those 40 something new moms:  You see now that maybe you should have just volunteered at the church nursery or spent a few years in a day care center to get over the hump of missing that stage, when your older kids were young.  But we all know, observing you, that there is magic and joy in the happiness of childhood nothing can replace.

We are all just glad someone else is doing it, and we’re not in that place anymore.

Thanks to all of you offering us “observers”, moments to reminisce and be glad for our current plight in life, or by giving us something to look forward to.  I/e.  You old folks sitting on a park bench!  You know who you lovers are!

 

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grander you

Every opportunity is a new opportunity to be the bigger, better you.  The more practice and experience you gain in making the most of every moment, every interaction, every confrontation, the more comfortable you’ll be in your new skin.  The more obvious petty moments sound. The more obvious petty people are. The more obvious that everything is a petty ccomplaint.

When you recognize the connectivity of it all, the more petty our daily bumbles seem.

The grander life is.

The grander our purpose is.

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Cheaper to keep her?

It is thought, the costly part of divorce is, the divorce costs, splitting monies and sharing income “literally”.  However, the cost HE pays in the exit of the wife out the front door are these services he’d have to hire to replace her.

Chauffer/ valet – cleaning and maintenance of the vehicles(oil changes and car washes.  Pulling out the fast food trash, lunch boxes muddy shoes, yesterday’s change of clothes… A professional getting paid doesn’t have the pain -in -the- rear or the level of “cleaning out the car” as a mom.   Parking, organizing the garage.  Sweeping and mopping and decoarting the garage so it’s a pleasant place to go .  Making the garage and parking arrangement smooth, transitional and functional.  WALK THROUGH AS THEY SAY.

How busy is your week after your husband gets a wild hair to spend “the weekend in the garage”? 

Butler – $50-110k /year.  depending on the weight of their duties and how many subordinates they manage.

Ever wondered?  Look it up!  

Housekeeper – clean house, laundry, change sheets, dust, vacuum, keep schedule for family, cook, meal plan, grocery shopping, popcorn clean-up, etc.

laundry maid – this wonderful civilian could return to her own private life at the end of a busy day, but is happy to turn a load or two daily for you to help you to stay on top of dirty socks.

Personal Chef– the reason he has to afford this individual is because his wife usually caters to his specific needs, wants and requirements.  She does not force him to eat the macaroni and cheese and hot dogs she made the kids for dinner.  But surprisingly enough, he’d be happy to have that too!  Once in a while a man does just want a peaunut butter and jelly sandwich.

So, for all the women out there who accomplish these tasks (daily) and can’t feel the gratitude, feel free to remind him once in a while what yoru “free” services aren’t costing him. 

And trust me!  This is exactly why divorce is not an option!

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Compassionate Communication

Compassionate Communication causes us to take a step back.  Frees us from having to be so heavily buried in the moment we can’t see our way out.  Allows us to take the higher road because we chose to treat the customer service rep like someone we knew in a past life.  Just sit and observe and on a higher level, be forgiving and compassionate and praying, that in anyway,  you ever harmed this person you will be forgiven.  By the end of the communication, they may be apologizing to you ! Consider the past, present and future effects of our reactions in communication.

When regulating current behavior for future results, it helps to be calm in the moment.

We may ask ourselves, why do I care?  Why should I care how the other person feels?  They don’t care (how I feel /what I want).

When we take the time to invest in the relationship, (especially with our own children -these are life long relationships) we change our perception of the moment.  When you look back, what does that look like? 

This moment now is the one you will be looking back on.  What do you want it to look like?

Into the future, as close as tomorrow, will your action/reaction RIGHT NOW, be one you look back on and don’t have to question, “Did I do the right thing?”

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Karma people!

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Being ok with who you are

 

I'm ok...Being ok with who YOU are!

I’m ok…Being ok with who YOU are!

Sitting  with SelfThat is a huge task to undertake.  Not an easy habit to pick up.  Speaking of habits, there are alot of habits, we’d have to break, to acquire a conversation, and a relationship with , Self. 

As with any habit, it requires repitition and a habit- forming practice.  Practicing when you can , where you can;  to know the whys and hows of what is going on around you.

This huge undertaking asks you to call on, tap into and be in touch with; your spritual center. 

To begin to practice living from a soul-based place.

See www.heathershouse.net  for skills and techniques to lead you to “center”.

 

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Give yourself a big hug!

Don’t hug your ego! The outer projection of what we create for survival. But your inner child, who wants attention, affection and recongnition. Touch base today, with your soul’s inner crying out for dreams and aspirations to be reached for ! Sit quietly with that inner voice. Hear the desire from your inner most self. Sit with this request, look at it, love it , breathe through it. Be ok with who you are! This visualized individual of what you want to be, and then give yourself a big hug. Your inner child is begging to remind you of what you truly love, who you truly are, and what you truly should be. Hug and embrace that inner spirit that wants to be loved back!

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