heathermassoth

You can't doing everything everyday!

Remember when…

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We all have experience times of change and growth.  It is really easy to recognize in others.  I/e. “Oh, I remember when I liked horses”, and you had all the gear, cozy pants and a new bridle.  Or “I remember when I hung out at Starbucks, sitting there on the comfy couch feeling all nostalgic, retro, and romantic”, and “I remember when my kids were that age”, and you think back to how you are not that person anymore.

It may be easier to recognize our stages of growth in others, because we have a difficult time looking at ourselves.  It’s natural to not turn the periscope on ourselves.  Ooo!  Ouch!  But in others, we say, “I remember when that was important to me”.

  • going to church
  • going to work on time
  • speeding through traffic
    • cuz you’re  young
    • cuz you’re late
  • new baby stage
  • THe dating era

And when we see others there, in that place, we get to quietly reminisce, hate, judge, razberry their moment, or revel in the joy of the memory.

Everyone experiences different stages of growth and yet we tend to insist, we haven’t changed at all.  Are we the same person we were at 18, 28 or 32?   Some admit to changing and are glad for it!

“Thank God I’m not that hectic, rebellious immature young adult anymore!”  “Thank God there is not a baby in the house waking me at all hours of the night anymore” and “Thank God I found this person, so I am not sitting on this park bench alone in my maturing, grateful- to- be- alive years.”  Finally, for the old folks and retirees, “Thank God, the children are all ok and don’t need me anymore”.  “I remember when we were busy and couldn’t  share the holidays with my folks!”  So the old folks respect admire and allow us 30 and 40 something room to grow and get those kids off to school.  But just remember, they remember those times too.  Not only might they have advice or words of wisdom, we can all share in the silent surrender of being glad we are not in that person’s place in life anymore, or yet, but still be compassionate towards those that are in “that place”, knowing you survived it, and just take a moment to pity their plight.

Learning compassion is just taking a step back AND PUTTING your self in other people’s shoes.  You don’t have to do it all the time or be constantly sympathetic to other’s bad behavior, aggression, and evilness… But do consider their place in life on their journey and considering they may be struggling with some change or transition.  Silently observe, to feel kindness and compassion in your own heart, even if you can’t relay it or lend a helping hand.

But for those that are open to suggestion, offer up those words of encouragement… that “it will be over soon, and your gonna miss this.  You’ll look back and remember these were the days. ” And somehow be glad you’ re no longer there and in it.  Observing others when you miss those times; kids in the park, nursery at church, attending a wedding; brings back those moments from your life into your current memories and feelings without having to truly experience it again.

 

For all those 40 something new moms:  You see now that maybe you should have just volunteered at the church nursery or spent a few years in a day care center to get over the hump of missing that stage, when your older kids were young.  But we all know, observing you, that there is magic and joy in the happiness of childhood nothing can replace.

We are all just glad someone else is doing it, and we’re not in that place anymore.

Thanks to all of you offering us “observers”, moments to reminisce and be glad for our current plight in life, or by giving us something to look forward to.  I/e.  You old folks sitting on a park bench!  You know who you lovers are!

 

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grander you

Every opportunity is a new opportunity to be the bigger, better you.  The more practice and experience you gain in making the most of every moment, every interaction, every confrontation, the more comfortable you’ll be in your new skin.  The more obvious petty moments sound. The more obvious petty people are. The more obvious that everything is a petty ccomplaint.

When you recognize the connectivity of it all, the more petty our daily bumbles seem.

The grander life is.

The grander our purpose is.

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Pipe Dreams

Obviously, there is a huge difference between “pipe dreams” and realizing or manifesting soul purpose.  When you feel it, know it, and are living it, there is no turning back; no being wrong about it.

Follow a pipe dream first, as practice. (if you have the time).   Learn the curves, hurdles and ins-and-outs of making something happen out of nothing.  See how hard it is.  Experience that resistance, the negative feedback and lack of time allowable.  That’s how you know it’s not life purpose.  By not coming naturally, authentically, with assistance, support, positive feedback and an incredible amount of support that just seemingly appears out of thin air.   People come out of the woodwork. People you begin to meet that are connections in the field of interest. The difference is to be felt and experienced, so you know you are doing the right thing. The thing that feels right.  More than filling a void of boredom or escapism, it explodes out from inside of you.

Letting your inner child come out and play with the fire trucks, hammers, tools; your true purpose may reveal itself.  Following an old pipe dream or picking up a special or new hobby, allows time to concentrate and look inward, while hiding behind the work.  Whether it be exercise, an experiment in the basement, a project on line.  Searching for purpose requires quiet time alone.  In these moments of catering to your soul and listening to spirit, you can have the conversation, with self, about what your dreams are trying to tell you.

Quiet time; or concrete, dedicated time; on a “hobby” lets us hear about the action to take, while alert and awake, uninterrupted by the noise of the world.  Wake up from the humdrum of the daily grind, and get into your workshop; whether it’s the garage, the garden, the tennis court, the golf field, or your daily run.

Hobby takes our mind off the mundane.  Move it forward into life purpose; with dedicated thought and conversation with self.

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True Self

Being true to self came to mind as a chapter for this book when trying to visualize a Roman Soldier trying to be a priestess in a temple.  Trying to visualize the priestess robbing the hero of his victory by sacrificing herself to the sea monster herself;  making her the hero instead of the soldier.  It changes up the story TOO much if you try to be something you are not.  Being true to yourself doesn’t mean abandon your actual skill sets and talents in this life. Being true to yourself challenges you to embrace your true inner most desires and heart-sourced talents that let you shine  and bleed into this world pure light.  Nothing can stop that force. That train of universal talent that you are in touch with or resounds within you naturally.  It may not make you a million dollars, but you’ll feel like a million bucks!

  • Don’t jip yourself of explicit joy by trying to be something you are not!
  • Don’t’ be too hard on yourself for not knowing.(what that should be).

It’s worth the investment of time and energy, concentration and quiet, to check in with self.  Even if it’s just once in a while.  Try to find 5 minutes of peace and quiet, and use it constructively.  Try to remember the feeling of being excited about what you USED TO WANT to be (when you grew up)! You don’t have to do those things as career move choices, but get in touch with those talents to return to self and a sense of purpose.

example:  see Scott Lawlor and this “hobby” he has adopted.  This should be full time passion, right?  When you have this kind of talent?

 

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Cheaper to keep her?

It is thought, the costly part of divorce is, the divorce costs, splitting monies and sharing income “literally”.  However, the cost HE pays in the exit of the wife out the front door are these services he’d have to hire to replace her.

Chauffer/ valet – cleaning and maintenance of the vehicles(oil changes and car washes.  Pulling out the fast food trash, lunch boxes muddy shoes, yesterday’s change of clothes… A professional getting paid doesn’t have the pain -in -the- rear or the level of “cleaning out the car” as a mom.   Parking, organizing the garage.  Sweeping and mopping and decoarting the garage so it’s a pleasant place to go .  Making the garage and parking arrangement smooth, transitional and functional.  WALK THROUGH AS THEY SAY.

How busy is your week after your husband gets a wild hair to spend “the weekend in the garage”? 

Butler – $50-110k /year.  depending on the weight of their duties and how many subordinates they manage.

Ever wondered?  Look it up!  

Housekeeper – clean house, laundry, change sheets, dust, vacuum, keep schedule for family, cook, meal plan, grocery shopping, popcorn clean-up, etc.

laundry maid – this wonderful civilian could return to her own private life at the end of a busy day, but is happy to turn a load or two daily for you to help you to stay on top of dirty socks.

Personal Chef– the reason he has to afford this individual is because his wife usually caters to his specific needs, wants and requirements.  She does not force him to eat the macaroni and cheese and hot dogs she made the kids for dinner.  But surprisingly enough, he’d be happy to have that too!  Once in a while a man does just want a peaunut butter and jelly sandwich.

So, for all the women out there who accomplish these tasks (daily) and can’t feel the gratitude, feel free to remind him once in a while what yoru “free” services aren’t costing him. 

And trust me!  This is exactly why divorce is not an option!

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Change

The thing about change, most people expect the worst.  The extreme.  Go straight to the worst case scenario.  Or the extreme – haha!  Let’s not change our hair or our address, before we simply change our route to work.  Perhaps, the long way home as they say!  Perhaps salad instead of steak, or blue instead of pink (nail polish, hair color, baby room paint).   These are scenarios alone are scary, but braved, break through the fear of possibility.

Change doesn’t have to be apparent and obvious….and most of the time it’s not!  It takes years to let the long way home affect your outlook on life.  Volunteering to pick up the kids from school; saves mom the trip to the school.;  has rippling effects that cause her calm, and the kids bonding time with you and you, the break from the routine and 5 o’clock traffic.  Now you are in  4:00 traffic.  A whole new world.  Welcome to after-school life !

Change is quite healthy when it is salad over steak, toast over eggs, and slow over fast.  But change can be drastic in small doses as well.  One less cup of coffee or one less beer.  These are the fear factors that produce real evidence of how scary change can be.  

But try it and see the outcome.  The other results; other than those that directly affect you; that affect those around you like co-workers, sisters and friends.  Blue instead of pink can open up new window of opportunites, invitations and light into your life that others could not see into those dark shadows. 

When they think you “get” blue over pink, you might be invited to a rave, a same sex couples’ baby shower, a friend of your child’s mother might think you are worthy of an art show opening or a late night phone call.

Little changes can produce big results.  So be careful!  And remember you don’t have to change ALOT to change a little.

Clean water is a goal for many Americans. 

The Ripple Effect

www.heather’shouse.net

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Give yourself a big hug!

Don’t hug your ego! The outer projection of what we create for survival. But your inner child, who wants attention, affection and recongnition. Touch base today, with your soul’s inner crying out for dreams and aspirations to be reached for ! Sit quietly with that inner voice. Hear the desire from your inner most self. Sit with this request, look at it, love it , breathe through it. Be ok with who you are! This visualized individual of what you want to be, and then give yourself a big hug. Your inner child is begging to remind you of what you truly love, who you truly are, and what you truly should be. Hug and embrace that inner spirit that wants to be loved back!

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