heathermassoth

You can't doing everything everyday!

grander you

Every opportunity is a new opportunity to be the bigger, better you.  The more practice and experience you gain in making the most of every moment, every interaction, every confrontation, the more comfortable you’ll be in your new skin.  The more obvious petty moments sound. The more obvious petty people are. The more obvious that everything is a petty ccomplaint.

When you recognize the connectivity of it all, the more petty our daily bumbles seem.

The grander life is.

The grander our purpose is.

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Excuses

People tend to fall back on complaining. It is one of those negative repetitive habits that are almost unbreakable. It comes so natural and it is so neutral – a subject and arena of existence. Complaining tends to be something we can all agree on. No matter the complaint, we bring it up, only if others will agree with us. This makes the choice to complain pretty base, immature and unimaginative. If you could pinpoint the problem and solve it, or bring up the underlying cause to the problem, or comically reduce the stress, that’s mature, responsible and grown up. But to just complain, can get pretty old. Even to those around you who appear to be agreeing with you.

Take it upon yourself to take the high road, be big and achieve greatness in this situation. Resist the urge to agree with a complainer to start. If you can resist to complain yourself, that is greatness.

One of the first steps in acquiring peace, joy and rest in your life is to not continuously fall into bad habits. Start with this one. It could take years to recognize the triggers for the complaints and the outcomes of those rages. If it is just a bad habit, STOP IT!

If you need motivation or intention inserted into the decision to not complain, visit our worksheets and workshops at http://www.tweakingrelationships.com

 

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Cheaper to keep her?

It is thought, the costly part of divorce is, the divorce costs, splitting monies and sharing income “literally”.  However, the cost HE pays in the exit of the wife out the front door are these services he’d have to hire to replace her.

Chauffer/ valet – cleaning and maintenance of the vehicles(oil changes and car washes.  Pulling out the fast food trash, lunch boxes muddy shoes, yesterday’s change of clothes… A professional getting paid doesn’t have the pain -in -the- rear or the level of “cleaning out the car” as a mom.   Parking, organizing the garage.  Sweeping and mopping and decoarting the garage so it’s a pleasant place to go .  Making the garage and parking arrangement smooth, transitional and functional.  WALK THROUGH AS THEY SAY.

How busy is your week after your husband gets a wild hair to spend “the weekend in the garage”? 

Butler – $50-110k /year.  depending on the weight of their duties and how many subordinates they manage.

Ever wondered?  Look it up!  

Housekeeper – clean house, laundry, change sheets, dust, vacuum, keep schedule for family, cook, meal plan, grocery shopping, popcorn clean-up, etc.

laundry maid – this wonderful civilian could return to her own private life at the end of a busy day, but is happy to turn a load or two daily for you to help you to stay on top of dirty socks.

Personal Chef– the reason he has to afford this individual is because his wife usually caters to his specific needs, wants and requirements.  She does not force him to eat the macaroni and cheese and hot dogs she made the kids for dinner.  But surprisingly enough, he’d be happy to have that too!  Once in a while a man does just want a peaunut butter and jelly sandwich.

So, for all the women out there who accomplish these tasks (daily) and can’t feel the gratitude, feel free to remind him once in a while what yoru “free” services aren’t costing him. 

And trust me!  This is exactly why divorce is not an option!

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Change

The thing about change, most people expect the worst.  The extreme.  Go straight to the worst case scenario.  Or the extreme – haha!  Let’s not change our hair or our address, before we simply change our route to work.  Perhaps, the long way home as they say!  Perhaps salad instead of steak, or blue instead of pink (nail polish, hair color, baby room paint).   These are scenarios alone are scary, but braved, break through the fear of possibility.

Change doesn’t have to be apparent and obvious….and most of the time it’s not!  It takes years to let the long way home affect your outlook on life.  Volunteering to pick up the kids from school; saves mom the trip to the school.;  has rippling effects that cause her calm, and the kids bonding time with you and you, the break from the routine and 5 o’clock traffic.  Now you are in  4:00 traffic.  A whole new world.  Welcome to after-school life !

Change is quite healthy when it is salad over steak, toast over eggs, and slow over fast.  But change can be drastic in small doses as well.  One less cup of coffee or one less beer.  These are the fear factors that produce real evidence of how scary change can be.  

But try it and see the outcome.  The other results; other than those that directly affect you; that affect those around you like co-workers, sisters and friends.  Blue instead of pink can open up new window of opportunites, invitations and light into your life that others could not see into those dark shadows. 

When they think you “get” blue over pink, you might be invited to a rave, a same sex couples’ baby shower, a friend of your child’s mother might think you are worthy of an art show opening or a late night phone call.

Little changes can produce big results.  So be careful!  And remember you don’t have to change ALOT to change a little.

Clean water is a goal for many Americans. 

The Ripple Effect

www.heather’shouse.net

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Compassionate Communication

Compassionate Communication causes us to take a step back.  Frees us from having to be so heavily buried in the moment we can’t see our way out.  Allows us to take the higher road because we chose to treat the customer service rep like someone we knew in a past life.  Just sit and observe and on a higher level, be forgiving and compassionate and praying, that in anyway,  you ever harmed this person you will be forgiven.  By the end of the communication, they may be apologizing to you ! Consider the past, present and future effects of our reactions in communication.

When regulating current behavior for future results, it helps to be calm in the moment.

We may ask ourselves, why do I care?  Why should I care how the other person feels?  They don’t care (how I feel /what I want).

When we take the time to invest in the relationship, (especially with our own children -these are life long relationships) we change our perception of the moment.  When you look back, what does that look like? 

This moment now is the one you will be looking back on.  What do you want it to look like?

Into the future, as close as tomorrow, will your action/reaction RIGHT NOW, be one you look back on and don’t have to question, “Did I do the right thing?”

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Karma people!

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Holy Spirit

On heirarchy.  God set us above the angels.  They are to serve us.  We can request their assistance and help and guidance.  May the comforting dove of the Holy Spirit be with you in these times.  May you feel the holy hand of God angels in times of despair and confusion.

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