heathermassoth

You can't doing everything everyday!

Remember when…

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We all have experience times of change and growth.  It is really easy to recognize in others.  I/e. “Oh, I remember when I liked horses”, and you had all the gear, cozy pants and a new bridle.  Or “I remember when I hung out at Starbucks, sitting there on the comfy couch feeling all nostalgic, retro, and romantic”, and “I remember when my kids were that age”, and you think back to how you are not that person anymore.

It may be easier to recognize our stages of growth in others, because we have a difficult time looking at ourselves.  It’s natural to not turn the periscope on ourselves.  Ooo!  Ouch!  But in others, we say, “I remember when that was important to me”.

  • going to church
  • going to work on time
  • speeding through traffic
    • cuz you’re  young
    • cuz you’re late
  • new baby stage
  • THe dating era

And when we see others there, in that place, we get to quietly reminisce, hate, judge, razberry their moment, or revel in the joy of the memory.

Everyone experiences different stages of growth and yet we tend to insist, we haven’t changed at all.  Are we the same person we were at 18, 28 or 32?   Some admit to changing and are glad for it!

“Thank God I’m not that hectic, rebellious immature young adult anymore!”  “Thank God there is not a baby in the house waking me at all hours of the night anymore” and “Thank God I found this person, so I am not sitting on this park bench alone in my maturing, grateful- to- be- alive years.”  Finally, for the old folks and retirees, “Thank God, the children are all ok and don’t need me anymore”.  “I remember when we were busy and couldn’t  share the holidays with my folks!”  So the old folks respect admire and allow us 30 and 40 something room to grow and get those kids off to school.  But just remember, they remember those times too.  Not only might they have advice or words of wisdom, we can all share in the silent surrender of being glad we are not in that person’s place in life anymore, or yet, but still be compassionate towards those that are in “that place”, knowing you survived it, and just take a moment to pity their plight.

Learning compassion is just taking a step back AND PUTTING your self in other people’s shoes.  You don’t have to do it all the time or be constantly sympathetic to other’s bad behavior, aggression, and evilness… But do consider their place in life on their journey and considering they may be struggling with some change or transition.  Silently observe, to feel kindness and compassion in your own heart, even if you can’t relay it or lend a helping hand.

But for those that are open to suggestion, offer up those words of encouragement… that “it will be over soon, and your gonna miss this.  You’ll look back and remember these were the days. ” And somehow be glad you’ re no longer there and in it.  Observing others when you miss those times; kids in the park, nursery at church, attending a wedding; brings back those moments from your life into your current memories and feelings without having to truly experience it again.

 

For all those 40 something new moms:  You see now that maybe you should have just volunteered at the church nursery or spent a few years in a day care center to get over the hump of missing that stage, when your older kids were young.  But we all know, observing you, that there is magic and joy in the happiness of childhood nothing can replace.

We are all just glad someone else is doing it, and we’re not in that place anymore.

Thanks to all of you offering us “observers”, moments to reminisce and be glad for our current plight in life, or by giving us something to look forward to.  I/e.  You old folks sitting on a park bench!  You know who you lovers are!

 

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Achieve Balance with Opposites

Opposites Attract and Achieve balance.  A happy middle-ground.

If you are a watcher and tend to lack “taking action” – you may need to practice DOING, in order to achieve change.

A slight change in your outlook on life, the outlook of the room, the outlook on dinner, could be doing something you don’t normally do.  Act instead of observe.

On the flip side, if you are always taking action and a take charge kinda gal (or guy), warn everyone around you that you are trying something new in the month of (your choice of change).  You are going to sit back and listen at dinner, let your husband order for you (Ohhhhhh!)  and maybe see what the children want to do on a Saturday rather than have a plan.

Practice being uncomfortable with the opposite of your normal for a set amount of time.  Go back to your old ways!  But they won’t fit so well, and you will have a new outlook on life.

Try opposite day for a month and see how it changes your perspective on life and people around you.  You will experience strangers, co-workers and family members in a whole new way.

This technique  (once a year, once in a while…) opens your eyes and sets new highs for old lows.  It’s fun and adventuresome.

Feel free share your learning curve, picture proof or your story, here.  Fresh insight using this technique can be shockingly amazing!

Note:  Change is a chapter in my book Compassionate Communication.

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Being ok with who you are

 

I'm ok...Being ok with who YOU are!

I’m ok…Being ok with who YOU are!

Sitting  with SelfThat is a huge task to undertake.  Not an easy habit to pick up.  Speaking of habits, there are alot of habits, we’d have to break, to acquire a conversation, and a relationship with , Self. 

As with any habit, it requires repitition and a habit- forming practice.  Practicing when you can , where you can;  to know the whys and hows of what is going on around you.

This huge undertaking asks you to call on, tap into and be in touch with; your spritual center. 

To begin to practice living from a soul-based place.

See www.heathershouse.net  for skills and techniques to lead you to “center”.

 

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