heathermassoth

You can't doing everything everyday!

Achieve Balance with Opposites

Opposites Attract and Achieve balance.  A happy middle-ground.

If you are a watcher and tend to lack “taking action” – you may need to practice DOING, in order to achieve change.

A slight change in your outlook on life, the outlook of the room, the outlook on dinner, could be doing something you don’t normally do.  Act instead of observe.

On the flip side, if you are always taking action and a take charge kinda gal (or guy), warn everyone around you that you are trying something new in the month of (your choice of change).  You are going to sit back and listen at dinner, let your husband order for you (Ohhhhhh!)  and maybe see what the children want to do on a Saturday rather than have a plan.

Practice being uncomfortable with the opposite of your normal for a set amount of time.  Go back to your old ways!  But they won’t fit so well, and you will have a new outlook on life.

Try opposite day for a month and see how it changes your perspective on life and people around you.  You will experience strangers, co-workers and family members in a whole new way.

This technique  (once a year, once in a while…) opens your eyes and sets new highs for old lows.  It’s fun and adventuresome.

Feel free share your learning curve, picture proof or your story, here.  Fresh insight using this technique can be shockingly amazing!

Note:  Change is a chapter in my book Compassionate Communication.

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Change

Change can be frightening in any order, at any level.  Changing what you have for breakfast?  Forget about it! Think about how much you are not going to change THAT!   But it could change your whole world.  Avocado on wheat toast this morning?  No one needs to know about it, no one may ever know…but… they will see a change in you.

1. Because you have a confused look on your face all morning like, “Why did I do that”?

2.  You have more energy so you are accomplishing more this morning.

3. You look at that guy eating a doughnut and pity him.  4. You might even be nicer to that guy today because you feel so sorry for him.  (Because he didn’t get an avocado on his toast this morning).

But overall, there is change.  And little change can have big results.  I think that’s why people resist, question and doubt its process.  Skeptical and hesitant are we toward that weird new thing that could change our lives!!!  Even if it’s wearing flats instead of heels.  You could have an entirely different day. Start small with stuff people can’t see.  They may not see the process or the action, but they will see the outcome, the results.  And so will you !

 

 

  • add prayer
  • add a goal
  • add approach to conversation
  • Look for resuts.  
  • Sit and watch. Practice Observer.

All workshops at  www.tweakingrelationships.com

  • Free consultations
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Embarrassment as a tool

When you think about it, it’s not that far fetched a theory.  Watch and ask yourself, are you doing it to some one else.  It is a very powerful tool.  So much so, it’s used in classrooms, government offices and the workplace.

The saddest place, for me is the classroom. Terrifying and embarrassing children in the classroom, for some, in the hallway in the name of silence or on the playground for cooperation.  Government too uses it for cooperation, and this is pathetic.  In a land, where men can speak and have unalienable rights, we embarrass the needy, the wretched, the visitors, the immigrant.  The mother who needs milk for her children and the  soldier picking up his disability check .  For the government it is abominable.  Commercials, propaganda, housing, soup kitchens, charity and the uber wealthy.  Shame is a powerful, valuable tool un-ashamably used to keep a man down.

Finally, the workplace.  Your boss, co-workers or even the sandwich man uses embarrassment to control the crowd, control the group, control the ladder climber.

When I see a child shamed, a single mother shamed, or a brave civilian in the workplace take on the challenge of confronting a wrong-doer in the corporate world, I cringe.

A strong , usable and over-used resource. . . let’s use compassion to get what we need.  Be softer in our requests, and use our words (kindly) to relay our point.   Using shame as an embarrassing tool is the easy and cowardly way out. It is lazy, immature, and an un-educated response to loosing control of the situation.  Embarrassment ends the argument quickly and solutions are come to terms sooner by silencing the offender.  When about when we are speaking truth? or defending the helpless?  Note that you are chastised in the bank line, because you are pointing out a workers incompetence. . . to control the crowd!

It takes being brave at all to voice our opinion, put ourselves out there, or ask for help.  Why are  we punished with shame rather than rewarded with kindness?

blushing

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