heathermassoth

You can't doing everything everyday!

Remember when…

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We all have experience times of change and growth.  It is really easy to recognize in others.  I/e. “Oh, I remember when I liked horses”, and you had all the gear, cozy pants and a new bridle.  Or “I remember when I hung out at Starbucks, sitting there on the comfy couch feeling all nostalgic, retro, and romantic”, and “I remember when my kids were that age”, and you think back to how you are not that person anymore.

It may be easier to recognize our stages of growth in others, because we have a difficult time looking at ourselves.  It’s natural to not turn the periscope on ourselves.  Ooo!  Ouch!  But in others, we say, “I remember when that was important to me”.

  • going to church
  • going to work on time
  • speeding through traffic
    • cuz you’re  young
    • cuz you’re late
  • new baby stage
  • THe dating era

And when we see others there, in that place, we get to quietly reminisce, hate, judge, razberry their moment, or revel in the joy of the memory.

Everyone experiences different stages of growth and yet we tend to insist, we haven’t changed at all.  Are we the same person we were at 18, 28 or 32?   Some admit to changing and are glad for it!

“Thank God I’m not that hectic, rebellious immature young adult anymore!”  “Thank God there is not a baby in the house waking me at all hours of the night anymore” and “Thank God I found this person, so I am not sitting on this park bench alone in my maturing, grateful- to- be- alive years.”  Finally, for the old folks and retirees, “Thank God, the children are all ok and don’t need me anymore”.  “I remember when we were busy and couldn’t  share the holidays with my folks!”  So the old folks respect admire and allow us 30 and 40 something room to grow and get those kids off to school.  But just remember, they remember those times too.  Not only might they have advice or words of wisdom, we can all share in the silent surrender of being glad we are not in that person’s place in life anymore, or yet, but still be compassionate towards those that are in “that place”, knowing you survived it, and just take a moment to pity their plight.

Learning compassion is just taking a step back AND PUTTING your self in other people’s shoes.  You don’t have to do it all the time or be constantly sympathetic to other’s bad behavior, aggression, and evilness… But do consider their place in life on their journey and considering they may be struggling with some change or transition.  Silently observe, to feel kindness and compassion in your own heart, even if you can’t relay it or lend a helping hand.

But for those that are open to suggestion, offer up those words of encouragement… that “it will be over soon, and your gonna miss this.  You’ll look back and remember these were the days. ” And somehow be glad you’ re no longer there and in it.  Observing others when you miss those times; kids in the park, nursery at church, attending a wedding; brings back those moments from your life into your current memories and feelings without having to truly experience it again.

 

For all those 40 something new moms:  You see now that maybe you should have just volunteered at the church nursery or spent a few years in a day care center to get over the hump of missing that stage, when your older kids were young.  But we all know, observing you, that there is magic and joy in the happiness of childhood nothing can replace.

We are all just glad someone else is doing it, and we’re not in that place anymore.

Thanks to all of you offering us “observers”, moments to reminisce and be glad for our current plight in life, or by giving us something to look forward to.  I/e.  You old folks sitting on a park bench!  You know who you lovers are!

 

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grander you

Every opportunity is a new opportunity to be the bigger, better you.  The more practice and experience you gain in making the most of every moment, every interaction, every confrontation, the more comfortable you’ll be in your new skin.  The more obvious petty moments sound. The more obvious petty people are. The more obvious that everything is a petty ccomplaint.

When you recognize the connectivity of it all, the more petty our daily bumbles seem.

The grander life is.

The grander our purpose is.

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Frame of Mind

It could be said, that it all is just a frame of mind.

Whether we’re happy/sad, angry/ vengeful, pleasant/cordial, social or unsocial.

What puts you , in what frame of mind?

To find this out takes a little reflection and inward conjecture.  Conjecture because were never truly done unraveling the workings of the mind.  But it is a fun little mind-wrestle to work out what’s going on today. What’s causing our behavior or reaction to certain situations.

Some people don’t like time alone.  You’d be surprised how long 5 minutes really is.  The second hand gets pretty loud, when your timing yourself a short 5 minutes on concentrating.  Spending time alone, inwardly reflecting on improving oneself, can be painful, lengthy and long.

It is not a waste of time to consider your frame of mind at all times.  Whether you realize it or not, you are going to spend the rest of the 12 or 18 hours left in this day spent thinking of yourself; what you want and what you need, solving problems… it just won’t be mindful.

It’s just not productive, (to think of oneself all day) if that action is not producing desired outcomes.

  • Improving oneself
  • Helping others
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Milk Before Meat

My book is for everyone!  In all places at all times!

Ever find books so far over your head, you wonder, who reads this stuff?  That is what concerns me about the millions of people out there who don’t read at all, much less,  pick up a book for help.  Millions of people who need direction, assistance, guidance, don’t dare pick up a book that they get lost in in the first two chapters.

I would lose sleep at night contemplating that someone would give up on my book before they got to the end. Avid readers can read my book(s) in an hour!  My particular dose of medicine caters to piece meal and baby-steps methodology.  So though, one may appreciate chapter 2, they may not need chapter 7 for their particular stage of growth.  When they get to chapter 7 as their favorite, they are past or have mastered, chapter 2! Aphrodite-aphrodite-21787817-79-120

If you are curious about the simplicity of my message, check out COMPASSIONATE COMMUNICATION: ( link on picture)—->

Know that it is not written for my colleagues per se, as it is preaching to the choir, as they say.  It is written for the customer waiting in the waiting room, the over-worked, over-tired commuter, the teachers lounge, for easy lunch time reading, the yoga  practitioners before and after a healthy practice, the yoga instructors needing a quick lesson for today.

My message is to reach millions who need loving kindness laid out simply, in easy to achieve steps, with simple attainable goals, double spaced for easy reading and hopefully life long study.

Yoga Instructors, preachers, Christian soldiers, teachers.  Just about every human being needs these simple steps to begin loving kindness with thy neighbor.  Knock yourself out!  PLEASE use it to help those who might not quite “get it”!- yet.

Excellent read for:

  • social workers
  • as well as relaying lessons and methods to anger management clientele.
  • Excellent fod for meditations
  • and surviving family situations.
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Change

Change can be frightening in any order, at any level.  Changing what you have for breakfast?  Forget about it! Think about how much you are not going to change THAT!   But it could change your whole world.  Avocado on wheat toast this morning?  No one needs to know about it, no one may ever know…but… they will see a change in you.

1. Because you have a confused look on your face all morning like, “Why did I do that”?

2.  You have more energy so you are accomplishing more this morning.

3. You look at that guy eating a doughnut and pity him.  4. You might even be nicer to that guy today because you feel so sorry for him.  (Because he didn’t get an avocado on his toast this morning).

But overall, there is change.  And little change can have big results.  I think that’s why people resist, question and doubt its process.  Skeptical and hesitant are we toward that weird new thing that could change our lives!!!  Even if it’s wearing flats instead of heels.  You could have an entirely different day. Start small with stuff people can’t see.  They may not see the process or the action, but they will see the outcome, the results.  And so will you !

 

 

  • add prayer
  • add a goal
  • add approach to conversation
  • Look for resuts.  
  • Sit and watch. Practice Observer.

All workshops at  www.tweakingrelationships.com

  • Free consultations
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